Ron Manager

‘It’s a far cry from small boys in the park, jumpers for goalposts. Isn’t it? Mmmmm. Marvellous.’

“Football Commentator: Well, Ron Manager, once again the pace and the tempo of that first half totally dictated by the boy wonder, Ryan Giggs.

Ron Manager: Cor, Ryan Giggs, you know? Giggsy, isn’t it? Mmm? Giggsy-wiggsy? Mmm? Oh! Ryan-y Giggsy-wiggsy. Isn’t it? You know, marvellous.

Tommy: Is he the new George Best?

Ron Manager: Is George Best the old Ryan Giggs? But Giggsy-wiggsy. Precocious talent, isn’t he? Mmm? Ooh, got it all, you know? Speed, acceleration, sweet left foot, all the tricks – the dummy, the drop of the shoulder, the shimmy, nutmeg, jiggery-pokery, hocus pocus, abracadabra, I wanna reach out and grab ya. Steve Miller Band? Spin Doctors? Ooh, very similar.

Football Commentator: Thank you, Ron. Now, Tommy, it’s interesting to see the diamond formation being used again.

Ron Manager: Diamond formation? Does anyone really know what that is? I mean, at least you knew where you were with Alf Ramsey’s wingless wonders. You know? 4-4-2, 4-2-4, 4-3-3…0898 654000, freephone double glazing?

Football Commentator: You’ve lost me there, Ron. Not sure about that particular formation. But, Tommy, do we need structure? Look at the Brazilians.

Ron Manager: Oh, those Brazilians, you know? Circa 1970? Broke the mould. Theory out the window. Free expression of football. Uncategorisable. Is that a word? It is now! You know? Far cry from small boys in the park, jumpers for goalposts. Rush goalie. Two at the back, three in the middle, four up front, one’s gone home for his tea. Beans on toast? Possibly, don’t quote me on that. Marvellous. “