T’lorem ipsum

T’lorem ipsum, by eck that sounds reet queer Tha don’t get owt for nowt ‘appen as maybe tha knows Th’art nesh thee nay lad soft lad wacken thi sen up t’foot o’ our stairs. Nay lad where’s tha bin. Th’art nesh thee a pint ‘o mild any rooad t’foot o’ our stairs. Where there’s muck there’s brass t’foot o’ our stairs ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear. Ah’ll learn thi tintintin tell thi summat for nowt soft lad mardy bum. Chuffin’ nora ah’ll box thi ears soft lad ee by gum tell thi summat for nowt ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear. Bobbar nay lad. Breadcake soft southern pansy wacken thi sen up. Be reet where’s tha bin mardy bum mardy bum. Tell thi summat for nowt where there’s muck there’s brass shu’ thi gob. Dahn t’coil oil. That’s champion ey up will ‘e ‘eckerslike shurrup by ‘eck. Eeh. Shu’ thi gob face like a slapped arse god’s own county soft lad th’art nesh thee tha daft apeth.

State of the art printing press in Cleck-Heckmondwike, West Riding

Ne’ermind soft lad th’art nesh thee gi’ o’er ah’ll box thi ears shurrup. Ginnel snicket Tha knows wacken thi sen up cack-handed nay lad gi’ o’er ne’ermind. Ee by gum. Tintintin ah’ll box thi ears aye tha what ne’ermind big girl’s blouse. Nay lad tintintin face like a slapped arse what’s that when it’s at ooam. Michael palin ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear. By ‘eck that’s champion mardy bum mardy bum t’foot o’ our stairs appens as maybe. Will ‘e ‘eckerslike. Big girl’s blouse nay lad tha knows. Eeh ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear. Where there’s muck there’s brass. Shurrup where there’s muck there’s brass. Aye. T’foot o’ our stairs cack-handed where’s tha bin. Soft lad.

Nobbut a lad big girl’s blouse nay lad is that thine shurrup. By ‘eck th’art nesh thee shu’ thi gob. Bloomin’ ‘eck nay lad tintintin god’s own county. Chuffin’ nora breadcake nobbut a lad shu’ thi gob. How much that’s champion how much shu’ thi gob. Sup wi’ ‘im bobbar shurrup where there’s muck there’s brass. Shu’ thi gob bobbar. Ah’ll learn thi god’s own county where’s tha bin. Bloomin’ ‘eck ne’ermind. Dahn t’coil oil th’art nesh thee that’s champion wacken thi sen up ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear. Bobbar ee by gum is that thine. Cack-handed. Soft lad ey up big girl’s blouse nay lad that’s champion.

Gerritetten ey up tha what. Aye mardy bum aye. Bloomin’ ‘eck ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht ah’ll box thi ears is that thine ee by gum th’art nesh thee. Ey up ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear chuffin’ nora nah then th’art nesh thee dahn t’coil oil. God’s own county wacken thi sen up. God’s own county ne’ermind. T’foot o’ our stairs bobbar wacken thi sen up by ‘eck tha daft apeth. Mardy bum eeh soft lad sup wi’ ‘im. Aye bobbar where there’s muck there’s brass tha what. Will ‘e ‘eckerslike. God’s own county soft southern pansy by ‘eck nobbut a lad what’s that when it’s at ooam chuffin’ nora. Tha knows.

Geoffrey Boycott tell thi summat for nowt aye tintintin breadcake. God’s own county what’s that when it’s at ooam big girl’s blouse how much chuffin’ nora. Cack-handed god’s own county mardy bum shurrup. Appens as maybe. That’s champion tha knows ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear nay lad chuffin’ nora ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht.

Any rooad cack-handed be reet nay lad soft lad ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear. Tha knows ah’ll gi’ thee a thick ear ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht ne’ermind where there’s muck there’s brass th’art nesh thee. Tintintin be reet. Sup wi’ ‘im god’s own county. Soft southern pansy ah’ll box thi ears cack-handed. Tha what ah’ll box thi ears by ‘eck will ‘e ‘eckerslike how much. Dahn t’coil oil dahn t’coil oil what’s that when it’s at ooam that’s champion. T’foot o’ our stairs ah’ll gi’ thi summat to rooer abaht t’foot o’ our stairs Alan Bennett how much what’s that when it’s at ‘oam

What’s Lorem ipsum?

Yorkshire Dialect Poems (1673-1915) and traditional poems by Moorman, Frederic William, 1872-1919



Bite Bigger

by John Hartley, (1839 – 1915)

As I hurried through t’ taan to my wark,
-I were lat,(1) for all t’ buzzers had gooan-
I happen’d to hear a remark
At ‘ud fotch tears thro’ th’ heart of a stooan.

It were rainin’, an’ snawin’, an’ cowd,
An’ th’ flagstones were cover’d wi’ muck,
An’ th’ east wind both whistled an’ howl’d,
It saanded like nowt bud ill luck.

When two little lads, donn’d(2) i’ rags,
Baat(3) stockin’s or shoes o’ their feet,
Com trapsin’ away ower t’ flags,
Boath on ’em sodden’d wi’ t’ weet.

Th’ owdest mud happen be ten,
T’ young un be haulf on’t, no more;
As I look’d on, I said to misen,
“God help fowk this weather at’s poor!”

T’ big un samm’d(4) summat off t’ graand,
An’ I look’d just to see what ‘t could be,
T were a few wizen’d flaars he’d faand,
An’ they seem’d to hae fill’d him wi’ glee.

An’ he said, “Coom on, Billy, may be
We sal find summat else by an’ by;
An’ if not, tha mun share these wi’ me,
When we get to some spot wheer it’s dry.”

Leet-hearted, they trotted away,
An’ I follow’d, ’cause t’ were i’ my rooad;
But I thowt I’d ne’er seen sich a day,
It wern’t fit to be aat for a tooad.

Sooin t’ big un agean slipp’d away,
An’ samm’d summat else aat o’ t’ muck;
An’ he cried aat, “Look here, Bill, to-day
Arn’t we blest wi’ a seet o’ gooid luck?”

Here’s a apple, an’ t’ mooast on it’s saand,
What’s rotten I’ll throw into t’ street.
Wern’t it gooid to lig theer to be faand?
Naa boath on us can have a treat.

“So he wip’d it an’ rubb’d it, an’ then
Said, “Billy, thee bite off a bit;
If tha hasn’t been lucky thisen,
Tha sal share wi’ me sich as I get.”

So t’ little un bate off a touch,(5)
T’ other’s face beam’d wi’ pleasure all through,
An’ he said, “Nay, tha hasn’t taen mich,
Bite agean, an’ bite bigger, naa do.”

I waited to hear nowt no more;
Thinks I, there’s a lesson for me;
Tha’s a heart i’ thy breast, if tha’rt poor;
T’ world were richer wi’ more sich as thee.

So I said, “Lad, here’s twopence for thee,
For thisen.” An’ they star’d like two geese;
Bud he said, whol t’ tear stood in his ee,
“Naa, it’ll just be a penny apiece.”

“God bless thee! do just as tha will,
An’ may better days speedily come;
Though clamm’d(6) an’ hauf donn’d,(7) my lad, still
Tha’rt a deal nearer Heaven nor(8) some.”

1. Late. 2. Dressed. 3. Without. 4. Picked.5. Small piece. 6. Starved 7. Dressed 8. Than


Halifax Gibbet Capital Punishment in Yorkshire


The Halifax Gibbet in Yorkshire

What is the Halifax Gibbet?
The Halifax Gibbet was a machine like a guillotine that was used for public execution between the 13th and 17th centuries. It is in Yorkshire, England. The earliest recorded execution was in 1286. It is suggested that the Gibbet was built to punish thieves who stole cloth, especially from tenters (a wooden frame that cloth was stretched and dried on).

Escaping the Halifax Gibbet
Convicted criminals did have one of escape. A law stated that if a condemned person could withdraw his or her head before the blade was released and hit the bottom, they could escape to the next town – Hebble Brook – and then they would be free. The one condition: that person could never return. The only lucky and quick guy to do this was John Lacy. On January 29, 1623, John managed to scape and run to freedom. But after seven years, Running Man, as he was nicknamed, foolishly believed that because he had done the impossible he would be allowed back. He was as wrong as he was dumb. As soon as he came back he was immediately put back under the blade again and this time he didn’t stand a chance.

Finding the Halifax Gibbet
Almost 60 people, both men and woman, were executed by the Halifax Gibbet. The town finally stopped using it in 1650. The Gibbet originally stood at Cow Green but it was later moved to a marked site on Gibbet Street. The actual site of the Gibbet was lost after the 17th century until it was rediscovered in 1839 when workmen discovered the skeletons and skulls of two bodies. Possibly the last two men executed. The original blade (the head of an axe) was returned to Halifax in 1970. It can be seen at the Calderdale Industrial Museum. A replica of the Gibbet was reconstructed in 1974.

The Halifax Gibbet

In memory of:

1286 John of Dalton
15th January 1539 Charles Haworth
20th March 1541 Richard Beverley of Sowerby
1st January 1542 Unidentified stranger
16th September 1544 John Brigg of Heptonstall
31st March 1545 John Ecoppe of Elland
5th December 1545 Thomas Waite of Northowram
6th March 1568 Richard Sharpe of Northowram
ditto John Learoyd of Northowram
9th October 1572 Will Cockere
9th January 1572 John Atkinson
ditto Nicholas Frear
ditto Richard Garnet
19th May 1574 Richard Stopforth
12th February 1574 James Smith of Sowerby
3rd November 1576 Henry Hunt
6th February 1576 Robert Bairstow alias Fearnside
6th January 1578 John Dickenson of Bradford
16th March 1578 John Waters
15th October 1580 Bryan Casson
19th February 1581 John Appleyard of Halifax
7th February 1582 John Sladen
17th January 1585 Arthur Firth
4th October 1586 John Duckworth
27th May 1587 Nicholas Hewitt of Northowram
ditto Thomas Mason (Vagrant)
13th July 1588 The wife of Thomas Roberts of Halifax
5th April 1589 Robert Wilson of Halifax
21st December 1591 Peter Crabtree of Sowerby
6th January 1591 Bernard Sutcliffe of Northowram
23rd September 1602 Abraham Stancliffe of Halifax
22nd February 1602 The wife of Peter Harrison of Bradford
29th December 1610 Christopher Cosin
10th April 1611 Thomas Brigg
19th July 1623 [?] Sutcliffe
23rd December 1623 George Fairbank
ditto Anna Fairbank, daughter of George Fairbank
29th January 1623 John Lacy of Halifax (He escaped from the execution, but returned 7 years later where he was caught and executed immediately)
8th April 1624 Edmund Ogden of Lancashire
13th April 1624 Richard Midgley of Midgley
5th July 1627 The wife of John Wilson of Northowram
8th December 1627 Sarah Lum of Halifax
14th May 1629 John Sutcliffe of Skircote
20th October 1629 Richard Hoyle of Heptonstall
28th August 1630 Henry Hudson
ditto The wife of Samuel Ettall
14th April 1632 Jeremy Bowcock of Warley
22nd September 1632 John Crabtree of Sowerby
21st May 1636 Abraham Clegg of Norland
7th October 1641 Isaac Illingworthof Ogden
7th June 1645 Jer. Kaye Taylor of Lancashire
30th December 1648 (sic) – should read April 1650 Jo. Wilkinson of Sowerby
ditto Anthony Mitchell

The Keighley and Worth Valley Railway

Time travel back to the age of steam.



A Yorkshire tradition, the KWVR has been in operation since 1867.

If you want to visit Haworth and Bronte country then the KWVR is the best way to get there.

You’ll have seen it already though in movies and period TV dramas including the Railway Children, Peaky Blinders, Testament of Youth and many more.

id Aromatics Retail and Wholesale Essential Oils

IdAromatics, 12 New Station Street, Leeds


Id Aromatics is somewhat of an Institution in Leeds. It has been going for over twenty years, long before aromatherapy became popular. It was originally on Briggate and if my memory serves me correctly, started trading in 1983.

You can smell Id Aromatics from nearly 50 meters away and the pleasant odours emanating from within intrigued me so I followed my nose and went in.

The inside of the shop is a bit of an Aladdin’s cave and I’ve always found the staff to be helpful.

There is a minimum order of £35 from the website

Update: Glad to see that Id is still there.

NCM – The National Coal Mining Museum for England

well worth a visit:online or in person


The National Coal Mining Museum is inbetween Wakefield and Huddersfield in Yorkshire, it’s great and it’s free. I’ve visited it several times and can recommend.

Very good museum for school children to visit.

For those of you not lucky enough to live in Yorkshire check out the virtual tours.

Bill Cheall – 6th Green Howards


Like so much of this old content it’s no longer available – but this:


has some of the content and is worth a look.

Bill Cheall’s war memoire is also available on Amazon:

First hand account of what it was like to be a British soldier in the Second World War, including descriptions of the Dunkirk evacuation and D-Day.